Wes and I learned something very important at Audrey's birthday party. Audrey invited 10 of her friends and she only had one friend that we disapproved of, so she is doing a pretty good job picking healthy friends. This girl was so obnoxious, rude, and unbearably bossy to the other children. She was even bossy to her Mom when she came to pick her up and that was o.k. with the Mother. She was bossy to the other parents and I even had to reprimand her at the party for saying something mean to one of the other children. Then to put the cherry on the sundae this girl had to be the center of attention when Audrey was opening up her American Girl Doll and started shouting out what Doll it was when she saw the name on the bottom of the box, the opposite end of where Audrey was opening it up. I was livid!!!!
After Audrey's party we explained the different types of bullies to Audrey and what qualities make a good friend and what qualities do not. We told her that she is not allowed to play with this girl anymore. Wes and I were bullied a lot in school and this is something my daughters will not have to tolerate. Once a year is not often enough to meet their friends so I think every 3 months I am going to have a gathering of all their friends so I can get to know them and see how they interact with one another in a group. I want to make sure that no one is taking advantage of Audrey's sweet, naive nature and that she has good friends and in return is being a good friend.
Hannah is still having a hard time making a lot of friends. Hopefully this is something that will change as the year progresses.
Last year a little girl was bullying Hannah and she did not want to return to school. I sent a note to Hannah's Kindergarten teacher and that day I got a phone call and the bullying stopped. Hannah already knows how people should treat her. It is amazing but at the same time I think she already has trust issues. I would be embarrassed and even ashamed if I knew my girls were being mean to other people. I frankly do not understand. That's the real crisis facing this world: people not being taught to be kind and considerate to others.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Are Your Kids Friends With Bullies?
Posted by Jen at 6:39 AM
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2 comments:
That is so very true and a good thing to do with your kids...so hard to teach them what's right when everyone around them is being mean and pushing them around...but persistence is key here! You are doing great!!!
This bully issue is important. I worry so much about the kids that Ben will want to hang out with (starting as soon as he can pick his own friends, all the way up through the dreaded high school years), and I think that your approach is really good. I think that it's really smart to assess who they are choosing to spend their time with every few months or so... and heaven forbid, the way they interact with their friends so that if they need to be told to cool it and be nice you can nip it in the butt... although I would NEVER imagine your girls doing that, they're too sweet :)
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